You might say I’m a little bit… Well, odd. I like to think it’s what makes me great, but others don’t always agree. When I was young I got bullied very often. It wasn’t exactly fun, in fact it made me rather upset. I struggled to make friends, struggled to fit in. Because of this, I often played up in school, and went from teachers wanting me moved up a year, to being dubbed class clown. Not my proudest moment if I’m quite honest.
Over the years things only got worse. I was bullied because I liked wrestling. I was bullied for having a “big forehead”. People would hit me, get me in trouble for things I didn’t do. Eventually, for no reason other than why not, me and my family moved away. I hoped I could have a fresh start.
I was wrong.
Straight away, forehead jokes. Jokes because I was quiet. Because I was the new kid. Obviously you have those who are popular, who all argue about who the new kids first friend will be. Then once they realise you like heavy metal, wrestling and writing, you’re deemed uncool and become the main target for 2 years. They bully you for sitting under a tree alone for weeks at lunch. They bully you because you are friends with the “emo” kids. Things weren’t much better at home either. I was scared to go home in the event my dad would legitimately try to murder me. Luckily that died down and I became problem free.
Eventually I left school and cut all my negativity out. I think I speak to maybe 3 people I went to school with. I’m (slightly) more mature, in a steady relationship and have great friends. I can genuinely say, that I am happy with my life. I am where I want to be, and my life is headed in the right direction.
I’m proud to watch wrestling, I play Pokémon every day, I collect wrestling figures and pose them out of the box. I wear novelty t-shirts, I have an annoying laugh, I like to cosplay, and so much more. I am still weird. But I’m proud to be weird. In fact, I’m proud to be me. Nobody can ever take that away from me.
I was a target my whole life. I was a victim of bullying. Even though I’m happier, things from the past still affect me. I can’t look in a mirror without thinking my head is too big. I’m still not very good at making friends. I don’t wear much wrestling merchandise, in fear of being judged for it. Hell, I tie my hair up because although I love it down, I have people in the street call me a girl. I am 20 years old and i am still bothered by things said to me 13 years ago. That will likely never change.
Now my message for you, the reader, is simple. Don’t let the bullies win. Don’t do anything drastic. You may feel you are alone, but you are not. Even if it’s just one person, there is somebody, somewhere, who understands how you feel. There are so many places to go, people to talk to. Safe places, who will do their best to make you feel better. As for your future? Things do get better. Some pain may linger, it may take a while, but eventually you will find happiness. I know it sounds so cliché, but I know from experience. I promise, you will enjoy life so don’t end it. Don’t take away your chance to live. Ending it only means the bullies win. They want to feel important, don’t let them. They don’t get to play God.
Don’t be a bully. Be a hero. Be happy. Be yourself. Because I love that version of you, and you should too.