Wild Dreams

Hello readers, I’m back again with another post for you. This one wasn’t what I intended to write tonight, but I think it’s quite a nice one. Lately I’ve been writing about negative things, my experiences with Depression & Anxiety, so this post should hopefully balance it out. Over the years I have had many dreams & aspirations, so I’m not quite sure where to begin? Probably the beginning, might be a wise idea…

All my memories of being a kid, up until I was about 11-12, involved football. I still played with friends every so often as I got older, but it was in those years I wanted to be a footballer. It was the sense of freedom, wind on my skin, teamwork.

I had so much fun. I also can’t deny the enjoyment of being a kid that was allowed to kick things, as hard as my legs would let me. I did end up playing for teams when I was a kid, starting out in goal and later as a defender.

Alas it all ended, as I grew anxious and quit. Sometimes I miss it, and wonder what may have been, but I’m mostly glad that it all happened. Football was one of few reasons to smile growing up, even if I don’t enjoy it anymore.

This was a confusing period in my life, that lasted a number of years. Idolising a member of the other family (that I no longer speak to), and being a massive fan of Busted, I had decided I wanted to be a musician.

The problem was, I couldn’t play anything or really sing. Instead I spent years secretly writing (very bad) songs, hiding them wherever possible. People eventually found out, and I was ridiculed. Still I couldn’t resist the call of the rock star, so persisted. I spoke to some friends, and when I was 15 we tried to start a band.

This then happened a number of times, until I left school. The issue was, we all had different visions, and I have stage-fright, so couldn’t ever participate in practice. Years later, after killing my throat from trying to “scream”, I still enjoy singing in my spare time. I prefer Alt. Rock, Ballads, Acoustics & occasionally Swing.

I also quite enjoy breaking out in 80’s Glam Rock, but that’s more for comedic value. Over the years I’ve had mixed reactions about my voice, but I don’t have any desire to perform anymore. It’s just a hobby, and I like it that way.

Fashion Designer:
One I don’t talk about very often, is the desire I had, and still sometimes do, to be a fashion designer. I was always under the (wrong) impression, thanks to my surroundings as a kid, that fashion designing was for gay people or women.

I didn’t think it would be acceptable for me to do that. Many years later, I was properly educated, and tried designing funny wrestling tees. The problem with that, was that I was like 16-17, with no funds to make a career out of it.

Nothing ever came of it and probably never will, which is fine, but I still get very curious. I’m a creative person naturally, it could’ve been special…

Novel Writer/Comic Writer/Journalist:
This one is still a goal for me. Writing has been a part of me since the beginning, it’s something I have always been good at. I think the reason that is, is how I connect to my work. I put everything I am into my writing, whether it’s fictional or not.

I used to try writing my own novels, but I never did get far. Weirdly I’d always get stuck on Chapter 4. It was like some kind of curse. I eventually changed my mind, and got into comics as I was already a huge fan of them.

One time I partnered with someone who started doing artwork for one, then Googled the cost of printing such things, and didn’t like it so quit. As you have probably guessed, I settled for Journalism. Reporting on things around me, as well as my own life. I’ve been interviewing people since I was 15. I plan to carry on writing stories one day, but I will likely never finish anything.

I’m a huge fan of wrestling, in no way can I deny that fact. I love it far too much, and always have. Like most young impressionable children, I saw the warning signs. “Don’t try this at home!”, so naturally… I tried it at home.

Being creative, I always enjoyed creating myself in games and making myself the World or Intercontinental Champion. During my last years at school, I decided that was the career I wanted. Due to again, major anxiety; I likely would never make it.

That won’t stop me being involved though. This year I’m hoping to fix my legs by going to the gym, and joining a wrestling school. Not to be a wrestler, but to be a wrestler’s spokesperson/manager. It’s going to be costly, and take a lot of time, but I would never forgive myself if I didn’t at least try.

Events Planner:
This will be my last one for you in this post. During my last 2 years at school, I gained an AS Level in Project Planning. It was during this course I interviewed low-level metal bands Godsic & Dreamers, fuelling my desire to take up Journalism.

Yet it has always been in the back of my mind; What if I could use that qualification for something more? What if I could run my own event? This year I plan to take that more seriously, making notes and working out costs.

My goal is to start out with a small festival in the area, and expand each year until it is a well known festival. Big dreams? Absolutely. Risky? Of course. Can I do it? I have faith in myself, so yes.

I already know I’d like to work with Janet Devlin/Insomnia Music, Grace Davies, my photographer buddy Scott and some other local bands. I’ll be happy when we can eventually afford Mallory Knox, Don Broco and to bring Finch back one more time.

A lot can happen in a year, but a year also goes quite quickly. We’ll have to wait and see with this one…

Post by Michael Sallabank